Weddings and Winter Wonderlands

We spent just over a week in Utah over the break to have Christmas with the Gale family in a lodge in Alpine - right next to Sundance Ski Resort - and to go to uncle Nathan and Jessica's wedding. The lodge was huge, but with as much family as was there it was still a tight fit on the one floor that we were on. We snowboarded which rules! Heather got beaned by a rude snowboarder in the back which stinks. When the rude boarder got up the only thing he could say was, "Ice stings, doesn't it!" I'm sure though now that his rudeness is recorded forever in the blogosphere that a feeling of stinging, icey rudeness will haunt his online persona ad infinitum. We went to a Jazz game, sledded, and drank lots of cocoa. We even had a "Second-Hand Christmas" with the Gales that was amazing. Heather thought it was amazing to go into Christmas not expecting to get anything you really want, only to see what cool things people found for you at the DI and Goodwill. Nathan And Jessica's wedding was beautiful. The country club they had it in made a very nice place and the food at the receptions were great! Overall it was a great break.

And now we interrupt this picture reel with the next exciting adventure of The Amazing Mason - return of the Sabertooth Yeti - Episode #365892


Mason was enjoying his vacation in the snow with his new Swedish girlfriend Helga...

They went tobogganing together...

They went on romantic walks in the snow together.

The scenery was so beautiful and his company so attractive that he finally felt that he could let his guard down and finally relax from his super hero duties. His sweetheart leaned in for a kiss and Mason could not resist her charms...
He moved in close to her supple lips...
Her arms wrapped around him in comfortable serenity...
Her eyes looking down on him with such tenderness - suddenly flashed with rage as she stabbed him in the back with a needle!!!!

Mason felt himself going numb. His vision grew dark and his thoughts melted into mush.

He was unconscious.















He was unconscious a LONG TIME!!!!




Suddenly he came to, and found himself paralyzed being pulled in a strange high tech hover sled...

He could move his eyes and saw that it was Helga that was pulling the sled, only now she looked different! Her legs seemed hairier, her eyes more wild, and her teeth seemed more like fangs. HELGA was a YETI!

His mind raced with thousands of ideas on how to escape, but the yeti neurotoxin was too strong. No matter how much his mind flailed his muscles never even tried to twitch. He knew he was a sitting duck if he could not move.

The sled halted. The yeti was coming for her next meal. Mason looked up in horror as the snow beast drooled down on him like he was a ripe roast or a stuffed pig. The she-yeti wiped the slobber from her snout and explained to Mason that it was nothing personal. That it wasn't him it was her. That she had really been enjoying their vacation together but that she was just too hungry to let things go any farther...
She plucked him out of the sled and carried his rigid body over next to her hut.

As she began to season him with a Yeti family blend of salt spices she explained about how much nicer it was to eat meat that is still alive than something a few weeks old...

Mason began to concentrate on his extremities, willing them to obey his mental commands...

The yeti explained that it would be excruciating to be eaten alive, but that that was a cost she was willing to pay to get the best flavor...
Mason knew that it was now or never. He would power out of this poison or see what the inside of a yeti's gut looks like

Just as she raised him up to her gaping jaws, Mason felt something he never had before...
FEAR
It overwhelmed him, but in that moment of complete horror he suddenly noticed one of his mittened-fingers twitch.
Horror miraculously turned to new found power as his chance at mobility grew exponentially into a perfectly timed left jab that sent the she-yeti crashing to the snow in a coma!

It took several hours for the numbness to wear off to the point that Mason could walk home. The yeti had woken up by then and the two told each other they were sorry for the misunderstanding, that they were lousy for each other and that their relationship would continue online only - like how they had met.

Just to show that there were no hard feelings, Helga the Yeti sent Mason a Polar Express Nuclear Train and Research Lab

Mason thought that maybe he should have sent her some leg razors...

So the moral of the story is....

If you're looking for real love online you're either a cannibalistic yeti or going to be part of one's hipline